I grew up in a family where there was a lot of poking fun, silliness, joking and even making fun of one another in jest. I was also exposed to “tall tales” that were often exaggerations of real life and truth … often these were teachable moments and many had lasting impressions that helped emphasize a lesson in life.
I also learned a lot about sarcasm and “literal” meanings of words and circumstances…there is no free lunch, you get what you pay for, naught from naught equals naught, heat loss equals heat gain, and one that always resonates with me – “why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?” And, the one that caught me this week, “no charge”!
I am sure that because I have been exposed to these types of expressions, I have a more liberal view of interpretations and have often taken people’s comments, insinuations, and outbursts “with a grain of salt”. Let me say that I don’t just “flip off” what people say, I listen for their intention of what they are offering to any conversation. Sometimes some “levity” can be shared, if appropriate or insightful for clarity. However, I have learned that in our world today, literal interpretations of serious and not so serious comments seem to be what and why people are so reactive. Apparently, some people do not understand when something is intended to be poking fun or in jest or is truly a fundamental “no questions asked” kind of statement.
I commented this week on a statement from a friend over “no charging” for babysitting grandkids. Well, let me say, this person could be on “easy street” for all the things she has done for others had she ever “charged” for her services. I was most surprised to read others comments about why I would question her most generous offer to keep grandkids for “no charge”. Folks, come on and give me a break…I clearly explained that lots of folks, with grandkids often find it pure joy and delight to have this time with kids – “implying” why would anyone charge for this – it’s a wonderful gift for children to know grandparents. Lots of our friends and family have benefitted from having grandparents pitch in for sick days from school, working extra hours and needing some help after work, etc. … whatever relationship kids, grandkids and grandparents have with one another, I cherish because I, personally, knew lots of special times with mine and know there was never any payment exchanged for our time together. Frankly, there is no way to put a dollar amount on what lives in the depth of my soul.
So, may I just suggest WE all take a step away from literal interpretations at times of what people say and “Pump Our Brakes” before responding. This new phrase has been imparted to me a great deal in recent months (thank you Kathryn)….I find myself needing to slow my reactions and responses until I have enough time to process and interpret the intention of the remarks, commenting on behaviors or circumstances in the heat of a moment. I truly believe that if we all “pumped our brakes” – paused and reflected on how our words can and are being interpreted or could be misunderstood before they roll off of our tongues, we might find ourselves in more civil times.
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