……there is a start and a finish to a race; birthdate and date of death; first day of school and last day of school – year or cumulative period of education; a seed in the ground to a bloom that fades/dies with time; first love… only love ..until death do we part; friendships and loss due to distance, time or different interest….a first home to migration to college to marriage and family domicile and on the list can go….
I have been experiencing a period of life that has had a lot of “alpha and omega” and has made me pause on what is happening in the “between” of the beginning and the end. Some time ago, there was a poem called The Dash – do you remember it? It has been used at funerals but it is so relevant for everyone to think and reflect on the “dash” in life. (https://www.linda-ellis.com/)
What do you/I have to say for the period from date of birth DASH date of death? What do you/I have to say for the period of the first day of school to the last day of college/grad/higher learning? What do you/I have to say for the first day on the job to the last day of the job? What did I do to continue a friendship/love/relationship until I realized it has been months and years since the last communication?
I have recently been in a period of ending and this has allowed me to put a little more emphasis on what transpired during the “dash”. From the onset of any circumstance of life, there is a period of anxiety as one embarks upon the unknown, a period of wonder and anticipation of what will this be like and then somewhere in the “dash”, circumstances become routine, scheduled, monotonous, burdensome, tiresome, boredom sets in, no challenge and little motivation. Why do we stay in this .. complacency, security, comfort in the familiar. But, then again, all we are doing is “sharing our germs” and infecting others with our complaining, dissatisfaction, or exaggeration of making things rosier than they are because we don’t want others to know just how miserable and unhappy we are…because frankly, no one wants to be around someone who is “negative”. I/You have the power to make the most of the circumstances in the dashes of life.
And, then you think about the finish, date of death, last day of ???, etc. To everything there is a beginning and an end. Is today the last time you will work at your job – either by your choice or a layoff or termination; when you drive out of the driveway from your loved one – is this the last time you will see them, hug them, say “I love you”; when you cross the finish line of the race – all the preparation reaches a conclusion and the euphoria of this concludes and one will experience a letdown.
So, this is where I am in this process – how do you catapult from the end to the beginning again – in a new relationship, new job, new preparation for the next race, etc.? If you are fortunate to be in control of the “end”; then you process differently – key word here is “control” – you pack your boxes in your home for the move; you pack up your desk and meet with colleagues or your replacement and pass along the nuances of what was “your” job; you replace that “love” with a new “love”, etc.
What about those who do not have the benefit of being “in control” – as it is said, “life happens” – an unexpected job change or termination; still in love with that gal or fella and not ready or feel the need to have someone different in your life; just run out of steam while running the marathon, etc.? Why do we often put a negative spin on that which is beyond our control?
The next time you are in the dash of whatever you are living, think on this from Ecclesiastes 3:12-13…
I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.
This is why and where it is so critical for anyone in stages of “ending” to be able to spring to a new beginning…find inspiration and reflection of where and what to do next, pause and get rekindled and refocused and dream and hope. The next beginning can be better than the best ending….all things in life become relevant based on the timing.
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